So, what has me feeling introspective is a post from Loricious a while back. She was commenting on whether or not she had a 5 year plan. Which of course got me thinking about if I have a 5 year plan. To be honest, I don't. I had one back in college, but that shifted a couple of times and wound up looking nothing like what I'm going through now. So, does that make me a failure or does it just mean that things shifted and that's just how life goes. For my sanity's sake, I think that life just shifts and not reaching some of those goals you set coming out of college doesn't mean that you are a failure.
Upon leaving college, I was heading straight to grad school. I was going to get my PhD and should have been finishing that after 5 years. But, once I got into school- only a month after my graduation from college, I wasn't happy. I came to realize that I wasn't ready to be back in school so soon and I didn't really like the program I was in. So, after a year, I left. That resulted in me hitting the 5 year mark after college, and I was just starting back to school- again. Only it was to get my Masters degree. While I didn't wind up fulfilling the actual goal, since it was so specific, I achieved a higher level of education. So, work-wise, I would consider things a success so far. Which is really what counts these days.
Now, on to the more difficult part. I got very caught up for a time a few years ago with the thought of getting married and settling down. Partly, I think, because that's what you're supposed to do. But, I realized that I wasn't ready for the settling. I hadn't quite finished figuring out who I am. Several years later, I am pretty sure I know who I am. Of course, I'm constantly growing and changing, but I think I have a good handle on me now. And this is where my thoughts carried me while reading Loricious's post. The thing is, now that I've figured me out, I can't guarantee that there is someone out there for me. So, setting a goal of getting married or having kids doesn't make a lot of sense to me. It just seems like I'm setting myself up for failure. I have no control over other people. I can't make that one person come into my life. Or who knows, maybe while I was finding myself, I missed my chance.
Which leads me to my 5 year plan. 5 years from now, I want to be happy. That's it. I want to be happy. In my job- whatever that is at the time. With my relationships- be it family, friends or possibly something romantic. I want to continue giving back- volunteering, fundraising, etc- because I believe in it and it makes me happy. I want to keep challenging myself physically- because it's good for me and it makes me happy.
There you go. Nothing specific. Just be happy. I can't control if I get specific promotions or anything at work. I can't be sure that there is someone out there. I can't even guarantee that I will be able to run one or two more marathons. But I can guarantee that I will be happy. If I just keep going and making choices that I feel are right, then I know I will be happy.
